One of those days

Gen happened to bring my backpack to the hospital yesterday. I didn't ask her to bring it, so it felt destined when this morning I looked in the pocket and found some space cake crumbs.

I ate them and then spent a few hours with Sofia painting in the children's play area. Then we went back to the room and watched my favorite movie (along with Elf) of all time, Happy Feet.

There was a moment watching the movie that Sofia was intently examining me with her stethoscope.
And I nearly floated away in bliss in that moment. Could've died with happiness.  I am sad to leave the hospital and feel I could stay for days and days with Sofia just being in this place. 

I can barely believe the fantastic places life takes me sometimes.

And speaking of barely believing, later tonight a rough fight with Genevieve. She just comes at me, tired and frustrated and so angry and condescending and righteous, for such seemingly little things. (Like I left some tupperware at the hospital for instance.) So upsetting. I take it to be some kind of balance to the magic and the bliss, like the necessary other side, but it is rough. Three year old Sofia is just yelling for us to COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! And I know just how she feels. Genevieve can be extremely hard to take sometimes, but no doubt she must feel the same about me.

The question is, what gets born in the moment?

Another moment today that felt significant was reading Lapham's Quarterly and coming across a fragment of Beryl Markham's "West With The Night" in which she talks about delivering a foal. It was a stunning account of not just the birth of a foal, but the process of birth itself.

All of this feels like aftermath to seeing Amma in NYC a few days ago.

Go figure.

Proustian Sonnet for Marcella, Anna, Erica and Ronaldo

Newly published Proust poems read
from the river, lower west side.
The words weave through the small
fountainfall of water behind me, while
all around us the sounds of the city
quiet down to just the harmony
between Marcel translated by Marcella
and then Anna and Jennifer, flaw
lessly, except Marcella turning a quack
back into something more than a duck.
The duck lands in the fountain to keep
me company as I take a leap
Into eternity, as evening encloses,
The murmur of summer breezes

now joining the murmur of friends.
The evening, for now, never ends.

noggin toboggan

Somewhere up in your Noggin
There lies a big toboggan

sliding down the merrypole
with Uncle Aladdin

Somewhere on the course of life
lies the green

with the 18th hole
if you know what I don't mean

Sometimes there is a fish
caught in a loop

You got the squinties
and everytime I play it loud

but I got the rhythm that is keeping you
my child

Upscale Poetry

Upscale Poetry



"Doe, a deer, a female deer"


There you hold in your head the image of a deer

A female deer

Hold it there for a moment

Look how beautiful she is


"Ray, a drop of golden sun"


Now we have added the sun to the picture

 The deer is there in the sun

 You can Feel the sun

(Note the adjective "golden")


"Me, a name I call myself"


Now, by juxtaposition, you have yourself

You have the thing that you call yourself

This "me" escalates from the "doe" in the "ray"
 
You are a female deer outside in the sun


"Fa, a long long way to run"


You are a deer running in the sun!

And you have a long, long way to go


"Sew, a needle pulling thread"


Now the metaphor scales up another level

Imagine the needle is the deer (you) leaping as it sews

Can you see the needle leaping there in the sun, sewing a crazy quilt?

The images, too, are a thread being sewn into a poem

 The trope takes another leap:


"La, a note to follow So"


The very notes of the song are pulled into the thread

The notes are the leaps of the deer, you, the needle,

leaping up the mountain, up the cloth, up the scale


The deer slows, near the top of the mountain now, tired,

her voice straining to reach the next note


"Tea, a drink with jam and bread"


Then you, she, deer, calls for a rest,
to stop for a refreshing picnic


"Which brings us back to do do do do"

The food brings us back to our self,
nourishes us, literally becomes us

Once we return to self
we are ready to start again

Escalating up the endless scale


draft 6

"Doe, a deer, a female deer"

You hold in your mind the image of a deer

A female deer

Hold it there for a moment

Look how beautiful she is

"Ray, a drop of golden sun"

We have added the sun to the picture

The deer is there in the sun

You can Feel the sun

(Note the adjective "golden")

"Me, a name I call myself"

Now, by juxtaposition, you have yourself

You have the thing that you call yourself

This "me" escalates from the "doe" in the "ray"

You are a female deer outside in the sun

"Fa, a long long way to run"

You are a deer running in the sun!

And you have a long, long way to go

"Sew, a needle pulling thread"

The needle is the deer (you) leaping as it sews

Leaping there in the sun, sewing a crazy quilt

"La, a note to follow sew"

The notes are the leaps of the deer, you, the needle,

leaping up the mountain, up the cloth, up the scale

The deer slows, near the top of the mountain now, tired,

her voice straining to reach the next note

"Tea, a drink with jam and bread"

You, she, deer, calls for a rest,

to stop for a little picnic

"Which brings us back to doe doe doe doe"

The tea and bread brings you back to yourself,

nourishes you, literally becomes you

and you're ready to start again

escalating up the endless scale

draft 7

UPSCALE POETRY

"Doe, a deer, a female deer"

You hold in your mind the image of a deer.

A female deer.

Hold it there for a moment.

Look how beautiful she is.

"Ray, a drop of golden sun"

We have added the sun to the picture.

The deer is now there in the sun.

You can feel the sun.

(And note the adjective "golden".)

"Me, a name I call myself"

Now, by juxtaposition, you have yourself.

You have the thing that you call yourself.

This "me" escalates out of the "doe" in the "ray".

You are a female deer outside in the sun.

"Fa, a long long way to run"

You are a deer running in the sun!

And you have a long, long way to go.

"Sew, a needle pulling thread"

Now the metaphor scales up another level.

The needle is the deer (you)

Running and leaping as it sews,

Leaping there in the sun, sewing a crazy quilt.

The trope takes another leap...

"La, a note to follow sew"

The notes are now the leaps of the deer, you, the needle,

leaping up the mountain, up the cloth, up the scale.

The deer slows, near the top of the mountain now, tired,

her voice straining to reach the next note...

"Tea, a drink with jam and bread"

You, she, deer, calls for a rest,

to stop for a little picnic.

"Which brings us back to doe doe doe doe"

The bread and tea brings you back to yourself,

nourishes you, literally becomes you

and you're ready to start again

escalating up the endless scale. 

to add

add cleve poem here and musketeer gripweed poem

letter to New Yorker

Anthony Lane's review of "Lincoln" misses the powerful social import of the film. The film is, as David Denby points out in his much better review of the film on your blog, momentous. Tony Kushner has beautifully framed one of the great moments of U.S. history within our own. Seeing this film released simultaneously with Obama's second term feels like kismet. The fact that this movie was written by a gay playwright underscores the parallels between what is happening with gay rights now and what happening with racial equality then. The fact that Obama stood up in support of gay marriage has a potency similar to Lincoln's anti-slavery support. As 50 Cent, perhaps the biggest and baddest of the largely anti-gay hip hop world, said, "If the President is endorsing that, then who am I to go the other way?"

loryl

Hey Loryl. See below in caps.

On Mon, Nov 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM, Loryl Mcbride <lorylmcbride@aol.com> wrote:

Oshima
Loryl Mcbride
Adam DeGraff
12 November, 2012

               During this reading much like the last one, I had a hard time focusing on

each character. Maybe I was bored with the reading, or maybe it just didn't

interest me. However, the one way that I did connect with the reading was

about the darkness.

                 When I was a little girl I was terrified of the dark due to the fact that

someone had broke into my bedroom window three times. Since then I am still

terrified of the dark. A lot like this character I find myself wondering what

every noise is, who is out side my door or window. Are they there to hurt me?

Will they break in too murder me? This is something the effects my every day

life because I have these feelings every single night.

             At the end of the story I felt very disturbed and disgusted of what I was

reading and couldn't wait for it to be over. I don't enjoy reading about rape;

even more so when it's rape about a family member. It made me ask my self

"why is he having us read this" . I feel that the whole story was very random and

all over the place. Not my favorite story at all.

THIS STORY IS AN ACCOUNT OF A PERSON WHO IS FACING HIS OWN FEARS. AS A MALE THE IDEA OF RAPING YOUR SISTER OR MOTHER, EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS, IS ABOUT THE WORST THING YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE (JUST AS BEING RAPED AS A WOMAN BY YOUR FATHER MIGHT BE FOR A FEMALE CHARACTER.) IN THIS CASE THE STORY IS ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY AND THEREFORE THE CHARACTER LOOKS AT ONE OF THE WORST ATROCITIES IN HISTORY AND IS ABLE TO CONNECT HIS OWN FEARS TO IT.

AT SOME LEVEL LITERATURE IS ABOUT OVERCOMING YOUR FEAR "OF THE DARK", WORKING THROUGH WHAT IT MEANS, AND THEN USING THAT INFORMATION TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS. TO NOT MENTION RAPE EVER IS TO IGNORE IT, WHICH MEANS NEVER UNDERSTANDING IT, WHICH MEANS IT KEEPS HAPPENING. THIS IS SOMETHING THE CHARACTER IN THIS STORY IS CONFRONTING, AND THEREFORE SO IS THE READER. IS THIS DISTURBING? YES, OF COURSE! BEING DISTURBED IS OFTEN A QUALITY OF UNCOVERING TRUTH.  BUT NOT FACING IT WOULD LEAD TO SOMETHING EVEN MORE DISTURBING.  DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A BEGINNING OF GOOD PAPER HERE, IF YOU TOOK THE FOCUS ON YOUR OWN FEAR OF DARKNESS, RELATED YOURSELF TO THE CHARACTER THROUGH IT AND THEN TIED IT INTO YOUR NATURAL PERSPECTIVE OF HORROR OF RAPE AS IT PLAYS OUT FOR THE CHARACTER  IN THE STORY. THAT COULD BE A POWERFUL TAKE ON THE STORY.

ALSO, TRUST THAT IN LITERATURE, ESPECIALLY, NOTHING IS RANDOM.