Metarelax

 It turns out that the antibiotics I am on for my blood infection cause intense dreams, and even, on very rare occasions, psychosis. They have even caused auditory hallucinations for me. This morning listening to Beethoven I heard a 1930s style blues singing in the mix, which oddly fit perfectly. I had to check Spotify to see if it was supposed to be there. Nope, just in my mind. 

But the dreams are just too intense. More intense than a tab of acid. Like 5 tabs of acid. So yeah a little scary.

Tonight is my second evening of being on the new antibiotic.

I fell asleep for a half hour tonight, then woke up breathing heavy, heart beating fast, already in the grip of the dreams.

The song that my mind sent me as I lay there was the Beatles', "Tomorrow Never Knows". God love the Beatles for providing such a beautiful blueprint. It must've helped so many get through their bad trips in the 1970s. It's still working today 50 years later.

Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream
It is not dying, it is not dying
Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void
It is shining, it is shining
That you may see the meaning of within
It is being, it is being.

Wary of going back to sleep, I decided to watch some premier TV, another good way to relax. I turned to the next episode of Murderbot. In this episode, #6, Murderbot (played by a wonderfully droll Alexander Skarsgard) must comfort the captain who is having a panic attack. Murderbot happens to be addicted to a "premier" series called "The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon" (starring a wonderfully droll John Cho). Murderbot is not human, but still takes comfort in distraction when "things in the real world are stressful as shit." So when the captain is having her panic attack Murderbot does his best to help her by showing her the most calming episode of Sanctuary Moon. In the episode a character is relieving a dying couple's stress by telling them, "I am breathing. I am breathing. I am breathing the crystal air." (I heard this echoed in the Beatles' melody, "It is shining. It is shining...")

The captain, watching along, begins to slow down her breath and her panic attack abates. God love Murderbot too.

It was a very meta moment, and a lovely reminder of how we take care of each other through art.

perfect day 8/13/25

 woke up 7am went on walk with Genevieve on the boardwalk in North Rustico. There was a statue of an Acadian fisherman in the middle of the bay. We got the bakery as it opened and there was instantly a long line. It was a crazy swarm. 

After breakfast we drove out to the Morell river and took a canoe trip down. It was like going 1000  years back in time. I had Sofia in my canoe and it was also like being outside of time with her. Timeless time. We saw beautiful angel-like jellyfish in the water. 

Then we drove to Charlottetown for lunch at The Cork and Cast. I had the best grapeleaf roll and Caesar salad and haddock sandwich of my life. As we ate we watched Alcaraz play tennis and they were playing the best of Sly and the Family Stone on the jukebox. I was in my happy place. 

We drove 4 hours to Fredericton NB, and the drive through the NB countryside during the sunset was stunning. We listened to great music on CBC "Drive" and then a few hours of the 6th Hunger Games book. There were good discussion about the book along the way. 

Then the airb&b in Fredericton had an incredible 1880 Loeser grand piano. Sofia is learning "Heaven is a place" on it even as I write this. 

Thank you, life. 

 Day off for Catholic Ascension Thurs. Finished James by Percival Everett, cleaned basement, played tennis tournament against Ross Riley, won 6-2, talked to Brian Mattson for his birthday, took the girls to school, picked up a bagel and lox for Genevieve, had dreams about not inspecting work closely enough, went to Frank Sinatra to watch the year-end Dance performance, wrote 1 and half Emily Dickinson essays on F794 and F795, practiced songs for the upcoming Kinks' Flynndig. Meditated. Worked out. Good full day. And still feeling a bit bland?