Monday, October 29, 2012

A couple of my students asked to analyze one of my poems for class. I gave them a few (coming soon as a SUBPRESS book!)

Response to one of my student's essays:

I have to say I appreciate your astute ability to talk about this narrator as separate from myself, as if the narrator is a character, or maybe even "everyman". You helped me narrow in on what this poem is about in a fresh way and I appreciate that too. There is a kind of turn around in this poem, what you call a "redirection", and the clue of the surfboard is there. Some kind of weird conflation of light and water too?

And maybe a metaphor with poetry. Like the surf is life and the paper is the surf board.

The Steven King Crouch End thing intrigues, but you have to explain. I haven't read it so not sure what you are referencing.

The "S" idea you need to explicate. (maybe the wave itself? S is a wave.)

The "I" idea you get nicely.

The sadness is interesting. You point to the stray cat as a clue and I like that. The word stray does imply "from something".

You mention the poem's loneliness, and though it is there, I think there is something in the "emptiness" that is not lonely, which leads to the wave, to the poem.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Shane the horse

Shane the horse

I went through the desert on a horse with no name
actually he did have a name
his name was Shane

It was a shame
nobody knew Shane's name

Shane! Come back!

He's gone and he thinks nobody knows his name

In the desert no one can hear you complain

I rode through the desert on a horse with a name
I wish I had known the horse's name was Shane
It gives my heart pain to think he had a name all along
to think that under the desert sea was a lovely star
in the sea breeze rippling and schools of fish
jumping and rotating cylinders...

and there was a whole life
under the sea
that we could not see
that we did not know
and now we're killing it off

How low can you go?

Richard Branson wants to know
he's gonna hire himself the know how
to get down to depths no man ever done

Reach, last stars to reach
the earth to breach

I went through the desert on a horse
whose name was Shane

He had a mane
of purple
and grapefruit
and pineapple

he had a tale as long
as the run of this song
and longer
and fatter
and stronger
and sadder

what are you eating
my daughter?