It turns out that the antibiotics I am on for my blood infection cause intense dreams, and even, on very rare occasions, psychosis. They have even caused auditory hallucinations for me. This morning listening to Beethoven I heard a 1930s style blues singing in the mix, which oddly fit perfectly. I had to check Spotify to see if it was supposed to be there. Nope, just in my mind.
But the dreams are just too intense. More intense than a tab of acid. Like 5 tabs of acid. So yeah a little scary.
Tonight is my second evening of being on the new antibiotic.
I fell asleep for a half hour tonight, then woke up breathing heavy, heart beating fast, already in the grip of the dreams.
The song that my mind sent me as I lay there was the Beatles', "Tomorrow Never Knows". God love the Beatles for providing such a beautiful blueprint. It must've helped so many get through their bad trips in the 1970s. It's still working today 50 years later.
Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream
It is not dying, it is not dying
Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void
It is shining, it is shining
That you may see the meaning of within
It is being, it is being.
Wary of going back to sleep, I decided to watch some premier TV, another good way to relax. I turned to the next episode of Murderbot. In this episode, #6, Murderbot (played by a wonderfully droll Alexander Skarsgard) must comfort the captain who is having a panic attack. Murderbot happens to be addicted to a "premier" series called "The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon" (starring a wonderfully droll John Cho). Murderbot is not human, but still takes comfort in distraction when "things in the real world are stressful as shit." So when the captain is having her panic attack Murderbot does his best to help her by showing her the most calming episode of Sanctuary Moon. In the episode a character is relieving a dying couple's stress by telling them, "I am breathing. I am breathing. I am breathing the crystal air." (I heard this echoed in the Beatles' melody, "It is shining. It is shining...")
The captain, watching along, begins to slow down her breath and her panic attack abates. God love Murderbot too.
It was a very meta moment, and a lovely reminder of how we take care of each other through art.
