memoir note

 I had a vision when I was a kid that I saw a statue deep in the recesses of my own mind. There was no head on the statue. At the foot of the statue it said, "Thou wilt be what thou wilt be."  

I realized even then the incredible double nature of this inscription. On one hand it could mean "thou will it (Wil't) to be what thou will it (Wil't) to be", you will be what you will yourself to be, and that is about self determination. On the other hand it means "thou will be what thou will be", which is closer to something like fate. ("wilt" is an archaic word, used in second person singular. E.g. "I will", "Thou wilt") How can both things be true at once? But I knew that the balance was somewhere between the two, that I didn't have to strive, and neither did I NOT have to strive, that I could strive... striveless. 

This doubleness comes back to me with the Rilke poem that ends, "You must change your life." Does this mean you need to change your life, willfully? Or does it mean you must, as in, you don't have a choice?

I should mention, for fun, that this vision came to me in a meditation lead by the actor that played Starbuck in the hit TV show "Battlestar Galactica". My dad was at a conference selling his Moldevite, and there were workshops. This guy, Dirk Benedict. 

Starbuck lead me to my own future. 

Can't make this stuff up. 

Thou wilt be what thou wilt be.